Life in the Blender

When my soon-to-be husband asked me to move to the pretty yellow house on the beach, I knew that it wouldn't just be a bubblegum life of sandcastles and sunscreen.  My two children lost their father in a car accident four years ago and are not used to sharing my attention.  His three children have lived their entire lives with their mom and THEIR daddy.  Not only would we all be adjusting to new roles, new responsibilities, and a new home in a foreign city, we would also be thrown into a whole new family.  I was not deluded enough to believe that our beginning would be without hiccups.

 As I prepared for the big move, I googled information about blended families, about how to be a step-parent, and how to make life work with a family of SEVEN.  Apart from a handful of articles penned by wannabe Stepford-moms that obviously live in High-Levels-of-Xanaxland, there wasn't a lot of information out there.  The only useful tip I stumbled upon was to invest in a divided laundry hamper and teach the kids how to sort their whites from their darks - that momma deserves a medal!  Laundry business aside, there just aren't a lot of people out there willing or able to share their stories of surviving in a BIG blended family.  I assume that they are not able… after experiencing the chaos of this lifestyle.

None of the kids had met each other before we all moved in together.  His kids live primarily in northern Michigan, but are spending the entire summer with us.  We did our best to get them acquainted via video chat prior to the big dump into the blender.  Each of the girls were excited about having a sister and the boys were excited about having new boxing opponents. I felt as though I was walking blindly into a human laboratory, naively preparing for the fallout of what might happen when all of the different personalities were mixed together.

Our "experiment" began with a 12 hour car ride when we picked up his kids for summer break.  Surprisingly, the trip went extraordinarily well.  The novelty was our saving grace.  The few weeks that followed were also drenched in newness and excitement.  And then the honeymoon phase fizzled out - with a vengeance. Seemingly overnight, they were siblings.  They were emotional.  They were whiney.  They were kids. It was like someone took the lid off our blender and set it on high.

 We are slowly regaining control of our household and teaching the kids how to communicate and express their feelings without someone winding up in tears or in time-out or in the emergency room.  They are learning to share, to take care of each other, and love each other.  I have had to learn to give them grace and time to adapt. All in all, life is wonderful and never lacking excitement.  Thankfully, safety goggles and radiation cloaks haven't (yet)  been necessary.

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